Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Feeling stiffled.....

I'm feeling a little bit stiffled these days, like in some ways I've been silenced.

The problem is that I've learned that not every emotion and every thought needs to be shared with everyone, I've learned that often times God is the only being who needs to know what I'm thinking and feeling, and that He's the only one who can help most times.

But, old habits die hard, and I'm used to funneling my every thought, feeling and emotion towards Elvis, often I send them his way unedited and unfiltered, which of course leads to disaster.

It's a struggle to filter what I say to my husband. It feels strange and unnatural to store them in a reservoir rather then let them flow freely from me to him. This is not how I used to do things, but, how I used to do things caused me a lot of grief and hardship, so change in this respect is good (I think).

But I wrestle with this, where do I put it all?

Where do I send the anger?

What can I do with the frustration?

Who will ease the sorrow?

The answers I already know, but I resist them.

Send it to God

Give to God

God will comfort and sooth my sorrow

I know, I know. These facts should already be tattooed on my mind, but it takes a long, long time to form a new habit like this.

Today I'm frustrated, and honestly, a bit angry, and a bit sad, but I am trying not to be. I'm trying to filter and edit myself, I'm trying to stop the negative feelings before they take over. I'm trying to shut the door on Satan's influence and I'm calling God into the mix to save me from my weakness and sinfulness. And you know what? He came. Pushed that door shut right along side me. Crisis averted.

Thank you God!

The Bible has A LOT to say about anger, and on days like this when I'm feeling anger brewing inside of me, I'm happy to have those references to turn to:

James 1:20 says this
20 Human angers does not produce the righteousness God desires.

Ephesians 4:26-27 says this
26 And "don't sin by letting anger control you."s Don't let the sun go down while you are still angry,27 for anger gives a foothold to the devil.

Proverbs 29:11 says this (this is a good one!)
11 A fool vents all his feelings,
But a wise man holds them back.

James 1:2-5 tells us what to do with our anger, and how we should regard it as an opportunity for growth:
2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds,3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.

And Ephesians 4:31-32 tells us how we should deal with those who offend us or make us angry:
31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

And proverbs 15:1 guides us on how to speak to others, and how to disagree:
1 A gentle answer turns away wrath,
but a harsh word stirs up anger.

The Bible is full of advice, real, practical, valid and relevant advice for today's issues, today's struggles and today's people, and I love it!

What do I do with my struggles? Where do I funnel my anger and frustration now that I know better the to do so towards my husband? Who will care? How can I still be heard? The Bible is our guide book for all the trials we face today, how lucky are we to have it!



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