The first step is admitting.................

I'm not sure why its been hard for me, to admit in non Christian circles, that I am a Christian. It feels sort of strange, or taboo even, and though I know its absolutely not okay to do so, I've been hesitant to live my faith out loud, which is of course what Christ calls us to do. I feel guilty for being a quiet believer, and I know that in order to make the entire premise of this blog happen, which is to build a new life on Christs teachings, that the first step is to come out of the faith "closet" so to speak and let everyone see and hear how special my faith is to me.

I'm not sure why this feels like such a daunting task. Maybe its because I have so many people who are very important to me, that don't believe like me, or at least to the extend that I believe, and I'm afraid to offend them, or put them off. I don't think that my beliefs could really do that, in fact I would think that they'd be uplifting to them, and bring some hope, but a part of me thinks that they might cock and eye brow at me and think I'm a little strange, or eccentric, or a fanatic, know what I mean?

But, I'm not supposed to think like that, or concern myself with what other people think of me, I'm not supposed to worry about things like this, and as a part of my new life and new beginning, which was granted to me entirely by God, I'm going to try and stop this thought pattern.

I hope, that my beliefs will not only be well received, but that they'll be food for thought for those in my life who aren't where I am at in the beliefs department. After all, this faith is pretty new to me. Before Everett died, I was a luke warm believer, I was wishy washy, I thought I could pick and choose what parts of the Christian belief system I really believed in, and I created an idylic image of "the God I believe in", I was mislead. If it wasn't for some people who were bold enough, and excited enough in what they believed in, to share a book with Elvis and I and risk offending us, we'd never have gotten to where we're at and wouldn't be blessed with this new found faith and hope.

That book, the book that sparked the interest that set our faith seeking journey in motion, sat in our diaper bag for weeks before we even lifted the cover. We WERE offended at first. We rolled our eyes and thought "the nerve of them", and we tossed it in our diaper bag and didn't give it another though. Then one day while rooting through the bag for something, I spotted the book once more, and for a minute I thought, "pretty cover", because things like that appeal to me, and I opened it up. I read a page or two, and was interested, so I read a page or two more, and soon enough, I was reading it daily, and was actually getting excited about what I was reading. That's all it took. I was suddenly and quite happily, a new believer in God and his promises. Thank you to the one who was brave and bold enough to share with us a book that changed your life, and then mine. For those who are interested in what book it was, it was "The Purpose Driven Life" by Rick Warren, and its informative and inspiring, and frames things up in a very digestible way, great for new believers, or non believers with open minds.

So, how do I live my faith out loud, it a way that makes me feel comfortable and at ease with my friends and family members who don't believe like me. I don't want to be offensive, or off putting, or appear fanatical, or like some religious zealot, because I am not. I'm a very normal person, a very average woman, who's live was deeply touched by the love and comfort Christ gives, during three separate life shattering events. Three separate times my life was in crisis, and each and every time I was comforted and carried through my my faith in God and the promises he made us. I think that the easiest way for me to be open about my beliefs, is to share them here, to talk openly and freely and with excitement, what God is doing in my life and my marriage. I'll share some relevant scriptures and some books I am reading, in case anyone wants to do some further reading on their own, and I'll just put my life on display so those who love me and care for me, or are interested in my enough to read this blog can see what faith can look like and how it can change your life.

So, the piece of scripture that's bouncing around in my mind today, is this:

Proverbs 3:5-6

5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart;
do not depend on your own understanding.
6 Seek his will in all you do,
and he will show you which path to take.

I like this a lot. I think all too often, when it comes to faith and big life decisions, we want to break things apart and try and make sense of it, we want to analyze everything, and rely on our intellect and what we know to be true to make our big life choices, and faith based decisions seem reckless or foolish, or just plain uneducated. But, God calls us to not rely upon our own understanding, which if we're honest, is limited at the best of times anyway, and to rely upon His will and His word to guide us. That's a tall order for many of us isn't it? To put aside what we think we know to be true and to do, in many instances, something that feels contrary to what we would normally do, it can be hard for sure. But, in my own life, I have recently applied this little nugget of advice and felt a huge pay off, so I feel like its golden advice and will be following it again in the very near future I am sure.

So there you have it, I'm out of the closet, openly and happily a Christ follower! I know that my nearest and dearest can understand why, and for the most part I know they'll be happy for me,whether or not they can fully understand it yet or not. Christ died for our sins to we could all have salvation, and an eternity with Him in HEAVEN! Believing in God and His word brings the ultimate reward of Heaven, and if there is a Heaven (which I fully believe there is), then Everett is there, and if believing is the only way to get there (which it is), then not believing simply is not an option for me. The drive to be reunited with Everett was what made me push to believe, and the immediate sense of love and peace and confidence that comes with faith like that has kept me believing!

I think we just took our first walk through "the garden" of this new building project, hope you enjoyed it as much as I did!

Katie