Thursday, February 11, 2010

Baby steps.....

I made a little baby step towards my goal of becoming more physically active and towards weight loss. We're talking a really small baby step. I did 21 minutes of step aerobics on my Wii Fit, and I really enjoyed it, I think I'll do more later!

Also, I drank WATER (*gasp*). Those of you who know me well know that me drinking water is a not a small thing, I never, ever, drink water, so I feel accomplished!

I'm trying to frame up this weight loss business in a way that makes it feel more serious, not something I can pick up and put down whenever I want. Many times I try and make myself accountable to others, naively thinking that I won't fail if someone else is expecting me to succeed, but that's proven to be wrong time and time again. I keep thinking, if it's just for me, then who cars if I fail? And I keep thinking, now's not a good time, I'll try again later. My weight and my physical health just keeps falling to the bottom of my personal priority list, and I try to tell myself that it doesn't matter, but it does.

Every day I carry this extra weight, every day I prove I don't have what it takes to lose it, is a day spent feeling insecure and self conscious. It's a day spent feeling like a failure.

Every day I carry this extra weight, feeling unattractive and self conscious, is a day spent keeping my husband at an arms distance and being guarded. It's a day sending negative messages about body image to my daughter.

Every day I carry this extra weight, feeling achy and burdened, is a day feeling older then I am, and a day missing out on what life has to offer. It's a day wasted that could have been spent playing energetic childrens games with my kids.

So much time and energy is wasted, so many days, so many opportunities, gone by and not truly enjoyed because my body is tired and burdened, and so is my mind.

But how can I get on the right track? How can I look at this challenge differently? Scripture maybe?

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 says
19 Don't you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself,20 for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body.

It's interesting.

My body is God's temple, because the Holy Spirit lives in believers. And my body does not belong to me but to God, who bought it with a high price (Jesus), so I need to honor it.

Honor it, not waste it.

Honor it.

How can I honor God with my body?

I think the answer is to use it. Use it! Do with it what it was intended to do. Move it.

Also, don't be ashamed of it. Love it. Love it because God made it and it's perfect and made in His image, good as it is. Love it. That's a toughie for me.

1 Peter 3:3-5 says
3 What matters is not your outer appearance—the styling of your hair, the jewelry you wear, the cut of your clothes—4 but your inner disposition. Cultivate inner beauty, the gentle, gracious kind that God delights in.5 The holy women of old were beautiful before God that way, and were good, loyal wives to their husbands.

God teaches that our inner beauty is what concerns him, and that it's far more valuable then external beauty. So while I work on making my body healthy, which will translate into weight loss, I can focus on my inner beauty, creating a gentle and gracious manner, and being good to my family and husband.

I've been fighting this battle with myself for years. For as long as I can remember. I've rarely ever been satisfied with my body. I've always felt too heavy, too tall, too big, too slow, too frumpy. It's time for a body revolution.

A mind and body make over!

So, I'm hoping to be fighting this battle for the very last time, and for the first time with God as my guide and secret weapon defending against self sabotage. I'm hopeful and excited and that's got to be a good thing, it certainly can't hurt.



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