Saturday, January 16, 2010

When there's nothing to say....

Today's one of those days where I have a million trains of thought going at once. My brain has been on high speed all day and I can't sit and think of one thing long enough to write about anything in particular, or in depth. I've actually been in sensory overload for most of the day, a combination of getting up too early, and the kids being a little disgruntled, my senses were all in over drive and I've been craving this "me" time all day.

Elvis has been home from work for just under an hour now, and I am happy to report that I greeted him at the door, with a smile on my face and dinner on the table! How domesticated! But seriously, its something I've been striving to do, partly because he likes it, and partyly because God likes it, and serving both makes me feel really good about myself. We had baked chicken breasts, sweet potato casserole and green beans, and it was really good, and now we're just relaxing on our respective couches. Elvis is catching up on some sports scores and unwinding from his day at work, and I'm curled up with my lap top and iPod, finally getting some time alone with my thoughts (at long last). Its peaceful and quiet and a nearly idylic evening.

Earlier today I had a really great conversation with a good friend. We talked about our marriages, about the trials we're facing and about how NOT unique we are, how all marriages face trails and tribulations behind closed doors that often times they're able to conceal from the rest of the world. We talked about God. About His plan for marriage. About love and what God wants love to look like. We talked about the roles husbands and wives are meant to play in Godly marriages, and the specific challenges those roles present us. We talked about our individual Christian walks, and our relationships with God, how they started and where they're at now. It was good. I hung up feeling really good about what was said, and I hung up wanting to talk more about it, and that's a great thing. I haven't talked so openly about God, and my relationship with him to anyone. And I haven't talked so openly about Christan life and what I know of it (which is minimal) to anyone. It felt really liberating to share my faith, without holding back or playing it down, it felt honest, and awesome. I'll do it again for sure.

Yesterday a really lovely friend of mine offered to give me a book from her religion, and I was deeply touched. Though I'm not looking to change religions, I know that her offer comes from a deep belief that she would be doing me a favor, by passing on something she knows to be true. It was a bold move, one I am sure carried some risks for her, but so assured was she in her faith that she did it anyway, and thats commendable. Its hard to tell someone who doesn't believe like you about your faith. It's scary. What if they react badly? What if they're offended? What if they think you're weird? What if they challenge you? What if your well intentioned offer to tell them about your beliefs is flat out rejected? My friend was brave, and I want to be brave like her when talking about my faith. No more closet Christianity!

2 Timothy 1:7
7 For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.

We're intended to be bold and to speak up about what we know, the good news and the bad, out of love and out of faith, its hard, but then again, no one said it would be easy.

2 Timothy 3:12 states:
12 Anyone who wants to live all out for Christ is in for a lot of trouble; there’s no getting around it.

Declaring your beliefs and being bold with your faith comes with some risks, and every now and then you'll be met with opposition, but its part of the package, something you have to endure because you know its worth it.

Anyway, enough of that. I'm not looking to get too deep or philosophical tonight. I'm just feeling a general sense of contentment with my day. I survived my two grouchy kids, had a great conversation with a good friend, made a delicious dinner, did some house work, met my husband at the door with a smile on my face, and am enjoying unloading some thoughts and feelings here, its been a great day. Thank you God.

Now, I wish I could say I excelled in all resolutions I made today.

I didn't work out.

I didn't even eat that well.

I didn't do a lick of reading.

But I can't do everything all at once. A little here, a little there, that's good enough for me.



Carrie said...

I just wanted to say that I really enjoyed our conversation today too. I told my sister how much the talk helped. I told her that I was not going to give up on my marriage but that I am just going to focus on getting myself back on track with God first. Then the rest will fall into place right, lol! I started a conversation with him last night. I have always been greatful for our close friendship but I love that now we can talk about God as well. We really don't have to worry about stepping on any toes with this and I really like that, but I think God had a feeling things were going to work out like this lol! Well thanks again!

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